Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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