We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
