If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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