I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
