i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
