Where did you get a picture of my penis
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
