Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
