Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
