I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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