I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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