she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
