so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
