i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
