3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
