The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
