Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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