two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
