My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
