Apparently you make a good broom.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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