his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
