hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
All the doctor said was why
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
