I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
