I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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