i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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