she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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