help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
