yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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