I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
