Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
