all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
