Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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