This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
