My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
