he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You're like the curious george of whores
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
