but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
