I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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