Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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