he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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