im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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