Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
