I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
