were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
3pm strippers are depressing
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
