first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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