What a fucking waste of an outfit
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
People with herpes should wear stickers.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
