As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
