Don't you send me to vm
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
