I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
