I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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