hell yes lets make some ravioli
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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