its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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